Since Ozzy already claimed Diary of a madman, I thought I'd go with Dairy. Plus, I like milk. I'm not really mad. At least not about most things. I try to keep my outrage bottled up inside so that it can explode at the most inopportune times. If I had a shrink, he'd probably discourage that. But since I don't have one, I feel free to ignore his non-existent advice. Who does he think he is anyway?
One thing that I believe will be a recurring theme of this blog is stupid commercials. The reason for this is obvious enough. When you're critiquing television, you never have to worry about writer's block. Just turn on the TV and someone will say something stupid. Instant source material.
For instance, if you watch golf on TV you've no doubt seen the Tiger Woods/OnStar commercial where he has locked his keys out of his Buick and is threatening to break in with his 9 iron. He's talking to an OnStar operator who tells him (Tiger) that she (the operator) can unlock the door for him (the Tiger). After she unlocks the door, Tiger giggles with glee like a school-girl that has just had her Buick unlocked.
Several things strike me as odd about this situation. Those of us that know Tiger well, (and by "well", I mean "have seen him on TV") know that he drives a Porsche and not a Buick. He also drives a yacht named "Privacy" which is ironic considering that we all know what it looks like. I guess "Privacy" makes a better name than "Conspicuous Consumption".
When the operator tells Tiger that she can unlock the door, Tiger replies incredulously, "OnStar can do that?" Tiger, Tiger, Tiger. If you didn't think that OnStar could unlock your door, why did you CALL them? Did you just have a few extra rollover minutes? Were you feeling lonely? Maybe you were just tired of all of your "Privacy".
And if for some strange reason OnStar can't unlock your door, go ahead and use your 9 iron. I've seen your boat. I think you can afford it. It's not like it's a Porsche.
One thing that I believe will be a recurring theme of this blog is stupid commercials. The reason for this is obvious enough. When you're critiquing television, you never have to worry about writer's block. Just turn on the TV and someone will say something stupid. Instant source material.
For instance, if you watch golf on TV you've no doubt seen the Tiger Woods/OnStar commercial where he has locked his keys out of his Buick and is threatening to break in with his 9 iron. He's talking to an OnStar operator who tells him (Tiger) that she (the operator) can unlock the door for him (the Tiger). After she unlocks the door, Tiger giggles with glee like a school-girl that has just had her Buick unlocked.
Several things strike me as odd about this situation. Those of us that know Tiger well, (and by "well", I mean "have seen him on TV") know that he drives a Porsche and not a Buick. He also drives a yacht named "Privacy" which is ironic considering that we all know what it looks like. I guess "Privacy" makes a better name than "Conspicuous Consumption".
When the operator tells Tiger that she can unlock the door, Tiger replies incredulously, "OnStar can do that?" Tiger, Tiger, Tiger. If you didn't think that OnStar could unlock your door, why did you CALL them? Did you just have a few extra rollover minutes? Were you feeling lonely? Maybe you were just tired of all of your "Privacy".
And if for some strange reason OnStar can't unlock your door, go ahead and use your 9 iron. I've seen your boat. I think you can afford it. It's not like it's a Porsche.
1 comment:
"Were you feeling lonely?" made me immediately think of the Reba episode where Barbara Jean stays in her car constantly talking to the OnStar operator who sounds like Hal from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Of course, if you've never watched the sitcom Reba, this comment makes absolutely no sense and should be ignored at once.
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